Monthly Archives: June 2008

The Intern Anthem

Probably the best thing I’ve ever written, while Interning in Talent Relations at premium cable channel in college.

To the tune of “Part of Your World” in the Disney’s the Little Mermaid.

Look at this place
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think that my internship’s sweet?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who loves
Premium TV
Look at this place
Grey carpets unfold
How many cubicles can one office hold?
Looking around you think, sure
That girl’s networking!

I’ve cable original movies a plenty
There’s a soda machine on my floor
You want lesbians?
We’re got 20 (new episodes coming this season!)
But who cares?
No big deal.
I’m a corporate whore!

I want to be where the people aren’t.
Don’t wanna see
Wanna see them typing
Alphabetizing papers for that-
What’s that called again? Oh…filing

Sending a fax you don’t get too far
A brain is required is thinking, talking
Laughing outloud in the middle of a–
What’s that word again?
Conversation!

Down where they talk
Down where they have fun
Down where they spend at least one minute in the sun
Web-surfing aimlessly
Wish I could be
Out of this world

What would I give
If I could stop making excel charts?
What would I pay
To get some pay from this company?
Betcha my right hand
In Europe they understand
They shouldn’t make robots out of their daughters
Bright young women.
Tryin’ to break the glass ceilin’
Too bored to stand!

And too bored to care about the Emmy awards!
So what if we’re nominated
Cause I won’t be there
Who are these people and why do they-
What’s the word? Care!

When will I learn?
Wouldn’t I love
To have chosen a better way to spend summer months
Oh woe is me.
Why didn’t I see?
All Internships SUCK!

Where To Buy Shoes Online

It seems like just yesterday one of my close friends from college told me he wouldn’t read my blog because it was just about shoes. Well, Andrew, with today’s entry, you have more permission to ignore me than ever! Not only do I write about shopping online, I’m also a member.

After a fruitless attempt to buy running sneakers yesterday (they only had my size in pink), I shuffled sadly home and bought them from Sneakerland.com instead. The cool thing about sneakerland is, I was able to select last year’s model of the shoe I wanted (the asics GT-2120, not pictured here) and save some money on the price of the sneaks.

The bad news: Now I need a better excuse not to run farther.

The Dead Zone in the Gulf of Mexico

As I’ve mentioned before, I get assigned these environment stories sometimes and on one hand, I think, “awesome! informing the public!” and on the other, I usually realize that no matter how informed the public is, the government won’t do anything to fix the problem, so…oh…ok.

Today, I wrote about a “dead zone” in the Gulf of Mexico that’s gettin’ bigger.

A dead zone occurs when nutrients in the water increase algae growth to the point where it sucks up oxygen so fast that there’s none left for the fish and other sea life. So they all die. Hence: dead zone. AKA Aquatic Morgue. AKA Apocalyptic Ocean. (I could go on, but that would be embarrassing for both of us.) The dead zone was first mapped in 1985, but it’s getting bigger and bigger every year, so that means the square mile of lifeless Gulf water is increasing.

The MSNBC headline I used simply said: Dead Zone to Be Largest Ever…or something. When I first read it, I kind of thought this was new news. But with a little background research (you don’t have to thank me, it’s my job) I discovered that there have been many articles over the years about how the zone is the biggest it’s ever been, because it just keeps growing. Studies have been, recommendations have been made to the government, but nobody does anything. Sure, this made me mad at the government. But it also made worried about news.

One year, the zone was as big as New Jersey. Then it was as big as half of Maryland. Then it was not quite as big as Connecticut. Our headline lets you know that it’s now as big as Massachusetts. Yikes. I mean REALLY: yikes.

I went to this panel on the Internet last night with some folks from N+1 magazine. They kind of made some good points about why the Internet was a source of evil, or at the very least causing a decline in quality of writing. One of the reasons was that Internet headlines are just trying to grab you in the catchiest way possible. HUGE DEAD ZONE! MEGA -HUGE DEAD ZONE! IF YOU LIKE STEPHEN KING, YOU’LL LOVE THE DEAD ZONE IN THE GULF OF MEXICO!!

While this story seems to be an example of how the Internet is non-helpful, in my case, having done the proper research, I feel like I really brought something to the table. Repeating the same headline year after year is really pathetic, but the person who can collect those headlines and use them to create a new thesis and even more penetrating, significant headline is really bringing something to table. She (me) is using her ability to search, and the wealth of content on the Web, to draw a greater conclusion about the progression of history, policy and our attention to the natural world.

Hillary’s A Woman, Hear Her Roar (At Last)

So, my post from June 4th says that Obama’s sealed the nomination, but Hil didn’t give her official concession until June 7th (yesterday.) I’ve heard that the speech moved a lot of people to tears, but it also finally acknowledged that her campaign meant something to women, and for women. It also seems like Hil’s last hurrah was most likable moment of her campaign. Maybe that’s a lesson, or something.

(Note the plunge in my effort to insightful after working since 8am on a Sunday…)