The Intern Anthem

Probably the best thing I’ve ever written, while Interning in Talent Relations at premium cable channel in college.

To the tune of “Part of Your World” in the Disney’s the Little Mermaid.

Look at this place
Isn’t it neat?
Wouldn’t you think that my internship’s sweet?
Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl, the girl who loves
Premium TV
Look at this place
Grey carpets unfold
How many cubicles can one office hold?
Looking around you think, sure
That girl’s networking!

I’ve cable original movies a plenty
There’s a soda machine on my floor
You want lesbians?
We’re got 20 (new episodes coming this season!)
But who cares?
No big deal.
I’m a corporate whore!

I want to be where the people aren’t.
Don’t wanna see
Wanna see them typing
Alphabetizing papers for that-
What’s that called again? Oh…filing

Sending a fax you don’t get too far
A brain is required is thinking, talking
Laughing outloud in the middle of a–
What’s that word again?
Conversation!

Down where they talk
Down where they have fun
Down where they spend at least one minute in the sun
Web-surfing aimlessly
Wish I could be
Out of this world

What would I give
If I could stop making excel charts?
What would I pay
To get some pay from this company?
Betcha my right hand
In Europe they understand
They shouldn’t make robots out of their daughters
Bright young women.
Tryin’ to break the glass ceilin’
Too bored to stand!

And too bored to care about the Emmy awards!
So what if we’re nominated
Cause I won’t be there
Who are these people and why do they-
What’s the word? Care!

When will I learn?
Wouldn’t I love
To have chosen a better way to spend summer months
Oh woe is me.
Why didn’t I see?
All Internships SUCK!

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