As many people who follow astrology know, it’s been a very intense month astrologically. As many people who don’t follow astrology know, this month has kinda sorta sucked.
I was in the second group of people and really had no idea what was going on until I went to yoga class in NYC with a wonderful, former teacher of mine. She explained that the month is jam-packed with eclipses. To be specific, two solar eclipses sandwiching a lunar eclipse.
The class was the day before the lunar eclipse, and she explained that the lunar eclipse was a time when we were supposed to let go of something. The good news was, a solar eclipse was on its way, and that eclipse would signify huge growth and going to a new level, exploration of truer self, and happiness blah joy blah etc.
But of course the catch is you actually have to let go of something so the new thing can come to fill its place. This is the big yoga/meditation/holistic message!!! But it’s even bigger right now — it’s like a Let Go of Something Blow Out Eclipse sale! Pick a part of yourself and get a new, cooler one for zero money down and zero interest for one year!
Of course it all sounds good until you end up hanging out in a downward facing dog trying to push your heart into your thighs so you can experience this magical release, but your brow is totally furrowed because you’re stressing out about which of the many dysfunctional things swarming around you that you’d like to unload. Ultimately, you decide you’re not prepared to let go of anything, because letting go sucks.
Fortunately, when the eclipse on Wednesday June 15th rolled aroud, I was presented with no choice but to let go of something: my MacBook.
Now, as anyone who knows me knows, my MacBook is a piece of sh*t. For most of the past year, it’s worked slowly, screwed up, and threatened to completely malfunction at random times. Not to mention that it’s been a problem child since birth.
Basically, I hate my MacBook. Except I love it – a lot. I mean – the memories! I’ve had it for almost four years – it’s been everywhere and through everything with me. As anyone in my office knows, a typical interaction with my MacBook goes like this:
“F*(K! It’s doing this again. Ugh, I hate this computer! I mean” (turns to Macbook, begins ferociously stroking keyboard) “I’m sorry, baby. I love you, and I know how hard you work, and I’m not mad. I know you can keep working! And I so so so appreciate how good you’ve been to me!”
(Sadly, this actually happens, verbatim.)
Now, while this may seem a bit bipolar, I think both reactions are fair. The MacBook sucks, but it has served me well and I think it’s important to be grateful for what you have. Plus, it’s normal to get attached to things. It’s fine to hold on to them for as long as you need to!
Until, of course, you don’t have them anymore. On the night of the eclipse, after taking my computer to a concert on the lower east side while I voraciously relived my early 20s dancing like a early-20-something-year old, I brought it home only to discover that a) my coffee mug had exploded in my bag and b) my computer wouldn’t work.
I’m not really sure why, but it totally sent me over the edge. I mean, I was devastated. So devastated that I literally couldn’t sleep. I cursed the eclipse and all the talk of letting go. All the astrology-healing-holistic crap was totally B.S. “Personal Growth” could go to Hell. I didn’t want to let go. I wanted to get my MacBook back.
I wanted to reverse whatever I might have done to make it broken (such as failing to realize I’d thrown a thermos full of coffee in my bag.) I stayed awake for hours in a state of angry panic. Then I texted my incredibly cheery yoga-teacher friend in San Francisco, hoping to squeeze out some sympathy.
Instead she wrote back, “Awesome! You get to have a new Macbook!”
I wanted to be pissed off and completely disregard what she said because she’s an incredibly cheery yoga teacher, but I couldn’t help realizing she had a point.
Sure, having your computer break sucks, but new toys are really fun. Especially toys that happen to be fully-functioning computers.
Imagine, I thought, if I had a boyfriend or a job that was working as badly as my computer. Getting a shiny new one would be a great idea – a no brainer! In fact, it would be disturbing that I’d waited so long to make the trade.
Of course, letting go of anything, no matter how crappy it is, is hard. And that’s why I think we should waste less time trying to master “the art of letting go,” and spend more time getting excited about all the new toys we might be able to get.
In other words: stop knocking the rebound. Embrace it – because it’s so much easier to move on from the dysfunctional thing you love when you have something bright and shiny to fill its place.
That’s why this eclipse sandwich is so great – it’s basically saying – rebound! Trade whatever it is that’s not perfect in for something better. We can let go of even more than we would normally because we don’t have to dwell on the depressing part, we can keep our eye on the prize. (Or pretty distraction as the case maybe.)
Of course, it turned out the next day that my computer wasn’t actually broken, it was just out of batteries. But since I’m pretty sure it’s getting close to its end, so I’ve been prowling around the Apple store, playing around on new computers. I’m not buying them – just looking – and it’s making the thought of losing my old one a lot more bearable.
It may be shallow, and it may be the easy the way out – but who cares? After all – doing things the hard way is not a bad habit to let go of….