Top Ten Reasons To Have a Crush on Your Barista

One big difference I’ve noticed between between being a teenager and being a late 20-something is that when you’re a teenager you have hopeless crushes and they send your life into a tailspin, and when you’re a 20-something, when your life is a tailspin, you can focus on a hopeless crush as a form of distraction.

However, for maximum benefit, you must choose wisely. I screened a long list of candidates, but ultimately, I settled on the charming young man I see at Starbucks every morning, and I haven’t looked back. If you need a hopeless crush, I highly recommend your barista. Here’s why.


Top Ten Reasons to Have a Crush on Your Barista

10. He gives you exactly what you need, every time you ask for it, without fail.
9. You’re half asleep when you see him, so you get the romantic first-thing-in-the-morning feeling, minus all the resentment about stolen covers and neck pain that comes from having slept on someone’s elbow.
8. He always asks if you want a slice of banana bread to go with that coffee, so you know he doesn’t think you’re fat.
7. He won’t be disappointed if you ask, “how’s your day going?” and don’t listen to the answer.
6. He doesn’t mind if you order from another barista
5. He’s still in college, which is just sooo refreshing.
4. When he asks if you want try the special seasonal pumpkin latte, and you say no, it doesn’t become a major issue in the relationship.
3. He gets your usual drink started when he sees you, so you can convince yourself that he actually remembers things you tell him.
2. Your trust issues have never gotten in the way of your commitment to coffee.
1. You see him more regularly than the cute cashier at Trader Joe’s

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