Top Ten Reasons Why Philosophy and Marketing Are Really Different

As I’ve mentioned before, my undergraduate major was in Philosophy. And although I am not currently a professional philosopher, I do like to incorporate some of what I learned into my current life.

For example, I’ve been working on this theory that according to Tolstoy’s theory of art, Interactive Designers are the truest artists of our time. I was laying out the argument in my head and about to confirm that designers met all three of Tolstoy’s criteria for real art, when I realized that I could only remember one of his criteria.

It’s time to admit that I’ve moved on to the next phase of my life– a phase in which my definition of the “examined life” is burying my nose in Flurry Analytics.

To mark this important passing, I have written:

Top Ten Reasons Why Philosophy and Marketing Are Really Different

10. Philosophers wake up every day and ask, “What is the true meaning of what I’m doing here?” whereas Marketers know that if they tried to answer that question, they’d be out of a job.

9. Marketers base everything on the numbers; Philosophers ask, “are numbers real?”

8. Philosophers base all investigation on the foundation laid by the Ancients; Marketers know that if you do that, you’re going to miss the whole Web 2.0/semantic web boat and get ousted by some 23-year- old who’s good on Twitter.

7. Philosophers present a thesis and also every possible argument that someone might have against it; Marketers present a thesis that no one could possibly argue with because it is a sure-fire way to win!

6. Marketers come up with creative ways to communicate with the masses, philosophers come up with creative ways to communicate so far above the heads of the masses that the masses have no one to listen to except the Marketers.

5. Philosophers know who Kant is; Marketers say, “Yes we kan!”

4. Philosophers get their ideas from others philosophers and only share them with other philosophers; Marketers get their ideas from the product development team and only share them if there is a lucrative book deal involved.

3. Marketers write Top Ten lists; Philosophers say, “you still haven’t addressed the quandary noted in item 9, ‘are numbers real?'”

2. Philosophers debate the meaning of Beauty; Marketers know the answer is: “it sells.”

1. It is the job of Philosophers to teach us the right way to live; Marketers are currently doing their job for them.

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