Yesterday I walked into my new kitchen to find two avocados with a little note that said, “Eat me.” I checked in with my roommate. “What’s wrong with the avocados?”
“Nothing, they’re just going to go bad if someone doesn’t eat them.” He is a 23 year-old boy, and he never eats dinner because he’s too lazy (and works at one of those fancy SF companies that serves amazing lunch). He has conceded that if I cooked him dinner, he would eat it, but otherwise sticks mostly to beer and bananas, although he is perfectly good at grocery shopping. (See above: avocados.)
I was going to just flat out eat his avocados when I realized that was not the right thing to do. The right thing to do was to offer to make guacamole. He agreed that if I made guacamole, he would eat it, but observed that we didn’t have any of the ingredients for it except avocados.
After reviewing what the missing ingredients were, (tomatoes, onions, flavor?) I decided that dumping salsa into mashed avocado and then drenching it in Louisiana pepper hot sauce would produce something that passed for guacamole.
My roommate went to get chips and Yerba Mate caffeine infused beer (true story.) Everything tasted better than it looks in these pictures.