Top Ten Reasons Why It’s Better To Date Your Mom

When I had the opportunity to review the Elvis Perkins show at Music Hall of Williamsburg on Saturday night, I jumped. I’ve been a fan since my mom sent me the YouTube Video of “While You Were Sleeping,” albeit, not a very huge fan. More like a fan of that song.

But I thought my mom was a huge fan, so I invited her to be my plus one. It turned out when we got there that the only song either of us knew was “while you were sleeping”, but my mom still had fun riding the L-train for the first time. And I discovered 10 Reasons Why It’s Better to Date Your Mom.

10. When she picks you up at Yoga class and all your friends start oohing and ahhing and saying she is beautiful and young-looking, you don’t have to be paranoid that they are a) trying to steal your mom, or b) secretly thinking that your mom is out of your league

9. When your mom says, “we can skip it if you want,” you know it’s because she really does care whether you do well on your yoga teacher take-home final, and not because she notices that your face totally broke out over night.

8. Your mom doesn’t mind listening to you over-analyze your relationship with your ex. She thinks the recurring nightmares you have about him are fascinating. She doesn’t point out that the fact that you have recurring nightmares about a man you haven’t laid eyes on in eight months probably means you have baggage, because she knows you’d turn around and claim your baggage was packed by her.

7. When she tells you this is her first time (on the L-train,) you know she’s not lying.

6. No surprises. When your mom tells you not to walk too close to train tracks and you scream back, “I do this everyday! Am I dead yet? NO!” she’s not appalled to discover your bitchy side. She discovered your bitchy side around the time the doctors discovered you were a colicky baby.

5. When your mom pressures you to have another glass of wine, you know it’s not because she’s trying to get you drunk and take advantage of you. In fact, she told you years ago you had a better personality when you were drinking, and after a long period of healing, you’re inclined to agree.

4. Your mom’s idea of a good time is sitting at the bar and pointing out every single girl that walks by, and explaining why you are prettier, better dressed or both.

3. Your mom thinks you are a genius for correctly predicting that she’d see lots of stupid looking hats in Williamsburg. “Wow! Another one! You were so right..”

2. You don’t have to worry about things moving too fast. When Perkins opens with “While You Were Sleeping,” and you and your mom shriek simultaneously, “Oh my god it’s our song!” it’s not awkward at all. (Until you both realize it’s the only Elvis Perkins song you know.)

1. Your mom will not become seriously alarmed and stop calling if you blog about your date.