Going Rogue’s A Good Idea

I’ve always been a big fan of Sarah Palin. Actually, that’s not true. Back when she was just the Alaskan governor trying to pass stupid and offensive laws about the polar bears, I seriously hated her. When she got the nomination for vice-president, I hated her. When she started bragging about how she was helping to break the glass ceiling for women, I hated her.

But then I made fun of her so much that I started to love her. In October of 2008, in a blog post titled: How Sarah Palin Saved My Life, I wrote:

“I really do feel that Sarah Palin has saved my life. You see, the month of September, for many reasons, held the potential to be slightly scary for me. I had started school, made some other changes, was worried about making more changes, was still having a quarter life crisis , was already planning my mid-life crisis, ETC. But then! Sarah. The world’s most beautiful hockey mom, and provider-of-endless-fuel (for conversation.) I was laughing! I was venting! I was making friends! I was pretending to be passionate and educated about politics! I was as close to “whole” and “complete” as Alaska is to Russia.”

I’d like to think that it is for reasons similar to the ones I listed above that Palin’s new memoir is so freakin’ successful. But you can’t be too sure. Today, I tweeted, “thanks to Sarah Palin, Jonah Goldberg gets another book deal. Yay.” Suddenly, some crazy Palin feed that reports everything about the Going Rogue journey started following me. And they sent out a tweet saying everyone should follow me because I was a fan. A fan! A fan of what? I wanted to know. And furthermore, are there real fans of Sarah Palin?

Well, I have no idea. But the New York Times says that Palin’s book sold 700,000 copies in the first week. Ironically, in the political memoir Hall of Fame, she comes in at number 2 for most sales, wedged between Bill Clinton (1) and Hilary Clinton (3). Since clearly it was liberals buying up the Clintons’ memoirs, it seems like liberals are more likely than conservatives to buy political books. Does that mean that it’s also liberals who bought Palin’s memoir? Or does that mean that the all the conservatives were just saving up their allowance for a rainy day? Or does it mean that Going Rogue was purchased mostly by teenage girls with a crush on Levi Johnston?

Or maybe it was purchased by angry people. The NY Daily news review said that the entire book is devoted to Palin’s whining. Apparently, she was really furious when a senior aide told her to stop eating Atkins bars because she needed carbohydrates in order to make “cognitive connections.” Basically, she blames McCain for making her look bad. Personally, I agree. If he’d never nominated her, she never would have looked bad. But either way, she’s complaining and blaming. Everyone, regardless of their feelings about polar bears, loves complaining and blaming. This could account for the book’s popularity.

Or maybe it was purchased by Shakespeare lovers. The LA Times said that Going Rogue was Palin’s “shot at redemption as well as revenge.” What’s sexier than redemption and revenge (other than Levi Johnston)?

But I bet it was people who love lying. Think about it. Ever since Obama came to office, if you live in a major city and/or don’t work for Proctor and Gamble, it’s basically illegal to accuse the president of lying. A few days ago I was working with a high schooler on her Watergate term paper and I explained, “This is the moment when everyone in America gets to stop respecting the president.” She looked at me blankly. I caught myself, “Um..until now..with uh, the last election, that is.”

Yes, it’s sad but true, but the days of fury over lying politicians might be over. Even all the dudes having affairs and paying prostitutes are admitting it. There even a TV show about it. Lame! I mean, gimme some scandal and deception– it’s my god-given right as an American! Thankfully, we have Sarah. She’s lying like a rug, and she’s even doing it in print. Check out the Huffington Post’s growing list of the Biggest Falsehoods in Going Rogue.

And please buy the book. The publishing industry is accepting all charitable donations, regardless of race, gender, creed or political affiliation.

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3 thoughts on “Going Rogue’s A Good Idea

  1. It's definitely true that Palin made a lot of people feel smart. There is something invigorating about knowing for sure that you are much more intelligent and educated than the person nominated to be Vice President by a major political party. McCain surely did make her look bad when he made fun of her on Saturday Night Live, but by that point, she had already lost him the election.

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  2. I freaking LOVE this post. Like, poured over it twice and giggled the whole way through, even on the second read. She's scary as hell, in my opinion, but man, does she make for good writing fodder.

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  3. Ayurveda is a holistic healing science which comprises of two words, Ayu and Veda. Ayu means life and Veda means knowledge or science. So the literal meaning of the word Ayurveda is the science of life. Ayurveda is a science dealing not only with treatment of some diseases but is a complete way of life. Read More
    “Ayurveda treats not just the ailment but the whole person and emphasizes prevention of disease to avoid the need for cure.”
    Ayurvedic Medicine has become an increasingly accepted alternative medical treatment in America during the last two decades.
    Benefits of Ayurvedic Medicines
    * By using ayurvedic and herbal medicines you ensure physical and mental health without side effects. The natural ingredients of herbs help bring “arogya” to human body and mind. (“Arogya” means free from diseases). The chemicals used in preparing allopathy medicines have impact on mind as well. One should have allopathy medicine only when it is very necessary.
    * According to the original texts, the goal of Ayurveda is prevention as well as promotion of the body’s own capacity for maintenance and balance.
    * Ayurvedic treatment is non-invasive and non-toxic, so it can be used safely as an alternative therapy or alongside conventional therapies.
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    Dosha: In Ayurvedic philosophy, the five elements combine in pairs to form three dynamic forces or interactions called doshas. It is also known as the governing principles as every living things in nature is characterized by the dosha.

    Ayurvedic Facial: Purportedly, a “therapeutic skin care experience” that involves the use of “dosha-specific” products and a facial massage focusing on “marma points.”

    Ayurvedic Nutrition (Ayurvedic Diet): Nutritional phase of Ayurveda. It involves eating according to (a) one's “body type” and (b) the “season.” The alleged activity of the doshas–three “bodily humors,” “dynamic forces,” or “spirits that possess”–determines one's “body type.” In Ayurveda, “body types” number seven, eight, or ten, and “seasons” traditionally number six. Each two-month season corresponds to a dosha; for example, the two seasons that correspond to the dosha named “Pitta” (see “Raktamoksha”) constitute the period of mid-March through mid-July. But some proponents enumerate three seasons: summer (when pitta predominates), autumn, and winter (the season of kapha); or Vata season (fall and winter), Kapha season (spring), and Pitta season (summer). According to Ayurvedic theory, one should lessen one's intake of foods that increase (“aggravate”) the ascendant dosha.

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