A year ago, I published a blog entry called “The Man Drought,” about what happens when you break up with your boyfriend and become an over-achieving, early-rising superstar, only to find yourself helplessly in need of a man when a dead mouse shows up on your kitchen floor. I ended up recruiting my mom and her boyfriend to come to the rescue, and posting Wilson Philips’ song “Hold On for One More Day,” on my blog. It’s a great song, I swear.
So when, almost exactly a year later, I found myself in my kitchen on a day when all my roommates were away, face-to-face with a dead mouse, I frantically looked up my old blog entry, hoping to find some advice. But the only conclusion I could draw was: no matter how productive or self-sufficient I am, it would still be awfully nice to have a man around in moments like these.
I tried calling my mom again. Her response was, “I don’t even know how to dispose of a snap trap.” I went for plan B: Wilson Philips, hyperventilation and covering my eyes partially so I couldn’t really see what was going on. Using the plastic lid of a Chinese take-out container for leverage and wailing, “Oh my god. Oh my god. It has a face. I can see it’s face. It has a face. It has a face,” I scooped my deceased friend off our counter and tossed him into the trash can just as “Hold On for One More Day” was fading out.
I walked out into the rain with the garbage, wearing my clogs from high school, my sweatpants from college and my mom’s plaid shirt from 1970, thinking how after one year and 20 days, I finally had become completely independent. Strangely, my sense of “man drought” is a lot more poignant this year than it was last year, perhaps because I finally realized the point of men is neither to prevent you from being productive on the weekends nor to clean up rodents.
To that end, I am researching an article about women/men who feel that although their day-to-day lives are probably better without their ex-significant other, they are still hung up him/her. If you have a story you’d like to share, or are a mental health professional who can comment on this from a scientific/advice standpoint, please leave a comment, tweet @wickedrb or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Here’s to weathering the weather, whatever the weather, whether you like it or not.