I’m definitely one of those people that reads about a disease and immediately contracts it, no matter what it is. High Cholesterol? Yes…if you multiply my cholesterol by 2, I definitely have it. I’m at risk!
So when we were cleaning out the yoga studio last week and my yoga teacher and mentor, ER (yup, those are her initials, for real!) flung a packet on diagnosing a Co-dependency addiction my way, I was immediately hooked. I was a codependent addict! Codependency, in this context, means that basically, when you are in a relationship, you think too much about the other’s person, and assume you know what they’re feeling. But apparently there are other manifestations.
For example, while I thought that stopping to help tourists who looked lost was just a sign that I was laid-off and bored, it is actually a sign that I try to anticipate other people’s needs before my own and have no sense of self. But as well all know, the only thing easier than diagnosing yourself with a rare form of cancer you read about online is diagnosing yourself with a psychological condition you don’t really understand.
I decided to ask around.
The expert: my Mom, social worker, psychotherapist, genius
Me: Mom, I realized what went wrong. I think I have a codependency addiction.
Mom: Uh, Duh!
The case study: My older friend who has had many (dysfunctional?) relationships.
He said: Shouldn’t we all just want codependency? Isn’t that the ideal? Someone who shares your life, experiences, feeling and goals?
The authority: The Most Hated Philosopher in the Canon
I was sort of at a loss about whether to think codependency was psychobabble or a major risk factor when I stumbled upon a quote from my man Schopenhauer. His big theory, I remembered was Will to Power. Basically, he said the entire world was just a manifestation of what we wanted to believe and see. So not only is it not a bad thing to think you know what others are experiencing, it’s metaphysically impossible to do otherwise. It’s so fitting that our favorite crackpot philosopher would get to have the most to say on whether something is a crackpot theory.
But do two crackpots cancel each other each other out? Filed Under: Things you can think about forever when you’re laid off