IpodFAIL


What happens when you bake an iPod for for 12 mins at 350 degrees.




A word to the wise: If you write a gooey blog post about how you love people, and not money, and how you are so so good at not spending any money, you will throw your water bottle in your bag with the cap partially unscrewed and destroy your books, notes books, New Yorker and Ipod. Now, I know you can read the New Yorker online. But since I’m trying to make a statement by having the damn print version in the first place, you can understand how frustrating it is to lose it in a flood. But more importantly, my beloved red Nano drowned.

For several hours today, I really thought that I was being punished for my public display of thriftiness. But before I discounted my dewy new-found love of humanity completely, a figure from the past, my Special Advisor of Music, (SAM) reappeared. Many moons ago, SAM was integral in the creation of a feature callled 5 Great Jazz Trumpet Solos. He stoked my interest in Jazz, opening a door to whole new genre. But before he could do that, I had to throw a major hissy fit to my editor, roommates, desk toys, etc, about how I didn’t know enough about Jazz to do the feature. I didn’t even like Jazz. Basically, he caught me in the midst of a JazzFAIL.

Today, it was an ipodFAIL, but either way, he completely fufilled his role as Special Advisor of Music to a) restore my faith in humanity and b) make sure that there was music in my life. He offered to send me his old iPod as a Karmic gift. Unfortunately, I still hadn’t learned the art of patience.

Despite knowing that there was a possibility my iPod might dry out on its own, I decided to listen to a (not-quite-certain) co-worker’s advice and bake it. Yes. I put my iPod on a plate and baked it. As you can see above, it was a highly unsucessful endeavor.

Just as I had reprimanded myself for throwing an open water bottle into my bag, I now berated myself for taking someone’s advice without doing research. (Research? Oh, yeah, that thing I do for a living.) So I flipped out, something I do extra-curricularly.

I had some consolation. Anne thought maybe it would make a good vegan cookie. SAM came up with the slogan, “RB cooks her life.”

Unfortunately, the problem seemed to be that I don’t cook. My Good Friend explained, “when she said ‘warming temperature’ she didn’t mean 350 degrees.” Unfortunately, having never used an oven for anything other than a few batches of cookies in college, I had no idea that 350 degrees was “hot.”

Sounds like a lifeFAIL to me! Incidentally, lifeFAIL was something I had been thinking about earlier as I struggled to get through a short, beginner yoga class at Crunch. Somewhere in the middle of class, I came to the happy realization that everything I’d worked so hard towards, in the physical sense, was gone. Two months ago I was in an immersion, and today, I was immersed in discomfort, weakness and disorientation. (Read: YogaFAIL!) Luckily, the great thing about yoga is that sometimes, even after your body fails you, your mind can still make the shape of a “practice.”

I realized that while building, growing and developing are obviously desirable, in the event that you simply have to throw in your cards and start a new hand, you should still try to do it in a way that allows you to open to grace. (first principle of anusara.) There are many wonderful, exhilarating essential things about being a beginner. (Remember how much fun it was to put the first album on your brand new iPod?)

Plus, what we tend forget is that if we do have some kind of major FAIL that lands us back where we started, there were a few loose stones in our yellow brick road. Feeling like you’ve lost a lot of hard work (and/or several songs you stole off your ex-boyfriend’s roommates computer) completely stinks. But it’s also a chance to do it better, and it probably the result of some major operating flaws.

For example, today in Yoga, I had to cope with the fact I was nowhere near the best in the room, a preoccupation that has always unhealthily dominated my practice. Instead, I was left with no choice but to stay on my own mat and try to just be a good beginner. And that was both more difficult, and more fun, than the uncomplicated drive for Awesomeness.

I really hope that I can take that wisdom and bring it to some cooking classes. Seriously, what’s a ‘warming temperature’?

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10 thoughts on “IpodFAIL

  1. I must confess to having drowned two ipod nanos…one that was left out in the rain and the other which was just very slightly splashed by the Caribbean Sea on my recent yoga retreat. I didn’t try to bake either. Though, previously, I have found that if you just leaving a wet ipod alone for a day or two, it’ll dry out and may work just fine (yeah, basically, both of the ipods I’d drowned had gotten wet at least once before…I remain one of those kids who doesn’t take good care of his toys…).

    So, I plunked down the money for a new one…finding some consolation in the fact that they make them in purple now…only two drop in a pool of water a couple days ago…but get this…I pulled it out and it was just fine…no error message…didn’t black out for even a minute…it was as if it never happened….

    Could it be that they’re making them more watertight? Or did the ipods gods simply decide to smile on me that afternoon?

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  2. Warming temperature is probably lowest setting, like 200 degrees or something. Next time I’ll lend you some of my old iPod waterproofing equipment. Not that I’m so good with keeping iPods. I’m on my 4th already (and my 5th mp3 player).

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  3. In a large pot or Dutch oven, heat olive oil over high heat. Combine flour with salt and pepper; dredge the ipod in the mixture. Brown the ipod on all sides in the hot oil. Add onions, celery, and mushrooms; reduce heat to medium and saute, stirring frequently, for about 2 minutes. Add garlic and cook for 1 minute longer. Add thyme or marjoram, bay leaf, chicken broth, wine, and tomatoes; bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low; cover and simmer for 2 to 2 1/2 hours, or until the ipod is very tender. Serves 2-4 blog entries.

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  4. Oh no. “Warm” is the lowest possible setting. 350? I can’t believe that thing didn’t explode like a special effect in a movie.

    Also, you should write more about jazz. I need to learn.

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  5. Oh dear!! Yes, even looking at those pictures kinda hurts. Actually, I’ve heard other things about electronics – stick em in the freezer. Apparently cold air is good for them.

    And actually, years ago I dropped my mobile phone while I was on a ski lift. Into the snow. Couldn’t find it, of course. Must have just dropped into a deep snow drift.

    Thought that was it, and was getting a new phone sorted out. A month or so later though, I got a call on my home line asking if I’d lost my mobile… yep, someone found it. Once the snow had melted. They’d charged it (somehow it was still working despite snow and rain since I’d been up to the ski fields), found my home number (listed as ‘Home’) and returned it to me.

    Worked just fine, and that phone even survived (hehe) a dunk in the toilet!).

    Also, I sympathise about feeling competitive. Its tough. I had that problem for years, and occaisionally it still rears its head. Anyway, I learned to manage my issues there by admitting to myself there would always be people faster/slower/better/worse/more talented/less talented/more flexible/less flexible/weaker/stronger than me. Its a fact. As long as I can live with that, I can chuckle and try to get over my need to be the fastest cyclist or the most brilliant yogi around 😉

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  7. What Ed said in his comments…ditto.
    Seriously, the warming (lowest temp) idea sounds like something I’d have tried also. Off topic: we’ve had two Betas at separate times and upon their demise have used my husband’s idea for cremation. Onto a piece of foil goes the limp little body, and into the oven that has been set to CLEAN (self-cleaning oven obviously). When the clean cycle is complete what remains is a perfectly-shaped ash fish that collapses once moved.

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