Embedded video from CNN Video
I know. They told you on the news that the US Airways airplane crashed into the Hudson River yesterday because it flew into a flock of geese.
My first reaction: “You morons make me take my shoes off and put my chapstick in a ziplock bag before you even let me get on an airplane, and then your pilot drove an airplane into the river because of some birds. You know what, jerk offs? Next time, I am taking 4 freaking fluid oz in my carry on bag instead of 3 and there is nothing you can do to stop me.”
My second reaction: “Oh my god. Osama Bin Laden is talking to geese.”
You see, yesterday, all the buzz on CNN was that Osama Bin Laden had sent America another tape from his cave. But no one cared. They interviewed all these people who said, “I’m not afraid of him.” “He’s not a threat anymore.” One woman said cheerfully, “He got us once, but he’s not going to get us again!”
I mean, the CNN newscasters were chuckling. They were making fun of him because he had to hide in a cave. But not for long. No! No one was chuckling when that plane went in the river.
I can’t believe it took an amateur sleuth like me to figure out the obvious. Osama Bin Laden is secretly communicating with Amercian birds through code in his recorded messages. I mean, DUH, right? Pure American incompetance didn’t crash that plane into the icy river. Bin Laden did. That will teach us to call the big guy a non-entity.
Note: This does not change my feelings about bringing 4 oz of fluid on the airplane.