How to Get Stuff For Free

I know what you’re thinking. Those are amazing mittens. Probably whatever girl is wearing them home tonight is a really gifted shopper, compelling blogger and generally superlative human being.

Well. Let me tell you. They are my mittens. But I’m a pretty harsh judge of myself, and while I am surely a gifted shopper and compelling blogger, I wouldn’t want you to think I was superlative for just any old reason. If I paid for these mittens, I’d be average. But I didn’t. So yes. You’re right. I’m basically an avatar of humanity.

Now, I got these mittens at Whole Foods, so you’re probably thinking: You got them for free because you shoplifted them, just like you steal the napkins, plastic spoons and mustard packets from the take-out bar. (and take multiple free samples even though they are explicitly “one per customer.”)

But it just so happens that’s not the case. The fact is, I looked at this $15 dollar mittens for a few weeks before finally deciding to purchase them, so when I finally took the plunge and the cashier told me that “at $20 dollars, they were a bargain” my ears perked up. Sure enough, on the ONE DAY I decided to buy them, the price tag said $19. It also said, “Scarf.”

Well, let me tell you. That cashier was pissed. But she called management, I held up the whole line at Whole Foods, but at the end of the waiting session, during which my cashier talked about how much she wanted to quit her job the whole time, it turned out that I was right. $15.50.

It also turns out that if a store tries to overcharge you, you get your item…for FREE. Not free like the mustard packets. But free as in, “I don’t have to wonder whether I’m bordering on Freeganism by stealing condiments” free.

So, dear readers, my advice to you is if you want to steal but not feel like thief, find some way to get overcharged for something and then call the store out on it. (On a side note, I feel SO SO proud that I am actually to able to provide real shopping advice! It seems like last year at this time, I was writing our Holiday Gifts Guide, thinking that I had a lot to learn about buying things! Well…I guess I don’t know about buying things, still. But I know how not to buy them. And in this economy, I think that’s what counts.)


5 thoughts on “How to Get Stuff For Free

  1. I work at Whole Foods and that isn’t the case at all. Ever. Sometimes we give things away because we can. You just have to be lucky. Not for overcharging.

  2. That’s crazy, when I first saw that picture I was totally thinking: whatever girl is wearing those mittens home tonight is a really gifted shopper, compelling blogger and generally superlative human being. Or a total scammer. Either way, she’s bordering on becoming my hero.

  3. I dislike people who post rude comments anonymously. The LEAST you could do is tell us who you are. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but to express it with attribution is cowardly.PS- I heart your gloves.


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