Men are the Weaker Sex!

Let me be the first to tell you that any day in which you can yell out to your office, “Does anyone know a better way to say “partially descended testicles?” or Google “smaller penises” and have it be part of your job, well, that day is fantastic, even if your day involves a million other stresses, crying in public and an ever-increasing sense of unavoidable doom (hypothetically speaking.)

Given that my day might not have been superlative otherwise, so it was very lucky that I got assigned to write the article about males, across all species, are being attacked by “gender-bending” chemicals and becoming female. Yes! Under attack from evil, male hormones become female hormones!

So far, studies are just being done on animals, mainly frogs and fish, although some mammals as well. But:

“The full report of the Chem TRUST study, “Effects of Pollutants on the Reproductive Health of Male Vertebrate Wildlife—Males Under Threat,” is available on the organization’s Web site. It emphasizes that the study, which focuses primarily on animals, is also relevant for humans, because “All vertebrates have similar sex hormone receptors.” Thus, the feminization of other animals could indicate a similar pattern in humans. The study also lists the symptoms found in each of numerous species tested, some of which include testicular cancer.”[full article here]

In terms of human studies, they did find that baby boys whose moms had a high ratio of the chemical in the urine when pregnant were born with smaller penises. (hence why I get to google small penises.)

ANYWAY, all this either means that:

a) If you are being attacked by pollutants, you’d darn best be a girl. Otherwise you shall perish!
or
b) all women come from poisonous chemicals.
or
c) I made this all up so I could put “smaller penises” in the tag for this article and get a gagillion hits from natural search.

Another funny thing about it is that the chemical is in bottles of hairspray, perfume and nail polish. So, everything women are currently using to attract men is actually ELIMINATING me altogether. How’s that for dramatic irony?

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