What’s Hilarious About Spitzer?

Unfortunately, nothing is really funny about Spitzer. That frustrates me, because I’m both trying to have a funny blog and dying to write about Spitzer. Looks like I’m not going to get what I want. On the upside, as long as I’m not successful, I won’t run the risk of my power going to my head. If I had too much success, I’d be likely to slip up and spend 100,000 dollars on high-class prostitutes. Close call!

I find it odd that the media is treating this incident like it was a fluke mistake or an inevitable progression stemming from the psychologically damaging ramifications of political power. Maybe I’m naive. Maybe it’s really normal for men to pay for sex. I guess it must be, or the under-ground prostitution industry wouldn’t be thriving so. But when this scandal was exposed, I was really taken aback.

Let me say off the bat that I’m not opposed to infidelity. I don’t think it’s a good thing. I don’t think it’s an indicator of a happy relationship. I’d like to think I’d never do it myself. But if YOU did it, I would forgive you. And if I didn’t know you personally, I wouldn’t even pass judgment on you at all. (Bill Clinton.) I’d say, if I heard about someone cheating, that “everybody’s human.”

However, I’m pretty surprised that what’s people seem to saying about Spitzer. I’ve read several articles where someone’s quoted saying, “Well, now we know he’s human.”

Really? Is that what it means to be human? I wish I would have gotten that memo earlier, because I would have spent a lot less time feeling guilty for stealing Splenda when I buy my coffee from Guy and Gallard. Yes, making mistakes is human. When I say I will work out for 45 minutes and I only do thirty: human. When I say I’m going to take a break to read one article about Spitzer and read three instead: human. Personally, I would like to think hiring a prostitute is something other than human.

Now, I’m a nice liberal New Yorker and would love to say that I think prostitution should be legal. (I also wanted to say that I never fell into the black hole of blogging about politics, but look what happened there.)

In any case, I’m conflicted. Intellectually, I want people to make their own decisions. I want prostitutes to be protected under the law, because if this incident proves anything, it’s that the practice is beyond unstoppable. I want to nip further hypocrisy in the bud.

But in my heart of hearts, I just don’t want women to be prostitutes. Evidence indicates its a horrible job. Furthermore, in most cases, well-adjusted happy women don’t become prostitutes. Although I callously observed in the elevator this morning that “there’s nothing tragic about earning 4,000 dollars in an hour,” there are many damn good reasons why I’m not. (The first and foremost is that I would never waste a hour that could be spent viral marketing doing something frivolous like selling my body.)

In conclusion, I’d like to vote, “undecided” on this issue. But here’s the real point. Either all those people who called Spitzer “human” should be busting their asses to make prostitution legal or they should be thinking long and hard about what exactly it means to be a human being.


2 thoughts on “What’s Hilarious About Spitzer?

  1. I agree completely. Those who claim prostitution is a “victimless” crime are not looking very closely at who exactly becomes prostitutes these days. Sure, it’s the “oldest profession.” It goes along with the world’s oldest form of prejudice: misogyny.

  2. It is kind of funny that he put people in jail for the same thing.And it’s laugh out loud funny how he spent all that time and energy trying to crack down on Wall Street corruption, and everyone missed the Bear Stearns thing.Hahahaha.


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