Today, I will answer three important questions. Two are responses to comments left by members of my embryonic readership, and one stems from my desperate need to discuss the fact that today, I ate a biodegradable paper bowl. No, not from a bowl. I ate the bowl. Read on!
1) The first comment was from a person who observed my stellar ability to find Ruby Red Slippers for sale online and inferred that I must be a shopping expert. She probably came to this conclusion because the wall of the Internet prevents her from seeing that most of my clothing is inherited from my mother. But seriously, while I may not be a buying expert, I do know a thing or two about shopping.
She wants to know where she can get Women’s suits, preferably at a good price. She’s hailing from NYC, so I recommend first and foremost: Century 21. The store’s motto is “fashion worth fighting for,” and it’s valid on all accounts. Century 21 is always packed. Imagine several sardines in a can shrieking, “I can’t believe how cheap this is!” while trying on sweaters with no regard for how badly they jab their fellow sardines. (Then try to imagine a weirder metaphor. I challenge you!)
Still, they have designer stuff-including suits -there, and the store is easily accessible by train. My reader also mentioned that she has a car, so I highly recommend outlet shopping in Secaucus, NJ. My personal favorite is the Harmon Cove Outlet.
Lastly DO NOT MISS Woodbury Commons. It’s also a drive–this time within the bounds of the fine Empire State, but completely worth it. My Aunt, like my reader’s friend, is a Very Important Business Lady and she does a majority of her shopping there.
Of course , if you’re not in New York and you want to capitalize on my shopping expertise, I can tell you right off the bat that I found those Ruby Red Slippers by swiping a site called The Find from the findingDulcinea Shopping Guide. If you want to investigate further, try to find my brother. He is really really good at shopping.
2) Someone else noted how cool those Ruby Red Slippers were, (and someone else is bound to notice my persistent desire to make them a proper noun). She wants to know where to wear her slippers once she gets them. I suggest she heads to the annual “No Pants Subway Ride” taking place in downtown New York this Saturday. As everyone bemoans the germs invading their thighs, the cold, and the abject humiliation, surely they’ll be thinking: There’s no place like home. She’ll be the most desirable lady in the whole car.
She might also consider strutting to a local movie theater and seeing “There Will Be Blood.” True, no one will see her feet, but those fancy shoes might provide a level of comfort while Daniel Day Lewis’s spell-binding performance rips the heart out of everyone else in the theater.
3) The last question I’ll answer today is: What the heck is that made of? Here at the office, we’ve got some totally biodegradable, totally “green” disposable dishes. But as it turns out, some people here think that when you put hot water in them, the water tastes like glue. To find out if there really was glue in bowl, it was determined that someone should eat a bowl.
Now, my boss has been very clear that the days of the 90s dot.coms are over. From what I can tell, this means that we can’t wear tee-shirts to work, but does not negate the possibility that I’ll find a superior cooking up a stew of shredded bowl in the microwave and looking for volunteer eaters.
Enticed by a) the thought of eating paper at work and b) the promise that the bowls were probably made of cellulose and totally edible, I was a willing guinea pig. Alas, after several minutes of chewing, all I had for my efforts was a little bead of paper. Being the savvy young professional that I am, I recognized that spit balls are not work appropriate and tossed it out.